6 Tips To Overcome The Fear of Success
I am excited about today's topic because I think it's one that gets left unnoticed but can sometimes be the biggest detriment to the growth (or life) of our business.
The fear of success.
We have been talking about fear over the past couple of weeks in this particular blog series. Last week, I shared with you why fear is the root of procrastination and earlier this week we talked about how to make friends with failure.
Today is all about clearing up the misconceptions of our fear of success and how we can overcome it.
Before we jump into how to overcome our fear of success let's first talk about why we fear success in the first place. When someone asks you "Why do you want to be successful?" you probably can think of several reasons; more money, time freedom, the feeling of accomplishment when you reach your goals, serving and helping other people, etc.
But when you look in the mirror and imagine yourself being super successful in your business I would bet that at least a few of these fears pop in your head:
WHY YOU MIGHT HAVE A FEAR OF SUCCESS...
- Change is scary.
- You worry it will put distance between you and those you care about.
- You worry that you won't be able to maintain success for the long term.
- You don't feel worthy of success.
- You are afraid you won't be able to balance a thriving business and your family.
- You worry that it will change you.
- You don't feel comfortable with the spotlight. You don't want to appear as if you are tooting your own horn.
- You don't see yourself as a strong leader.
- You don't believe you have the skills to manage money.
Do any of these thoughts hit home to you?
If you want to be successful in life (who doesn't) then you have to start believing in yourself. If you don't first believe in yourself, who else will?
These six tips have helped me to overcome my own fear of success and finally believe in myself:
#1 REPLACE NEGATIVE SELF TALK WITH POSITIVE SELF TALK
Let me start by saying that I am not a brain geek. I don't know a ton of scientific details about the brain and I can simply speak from personal experience. But I think we can agree that our brain is our very own high powered personal computer that controls everything we do.
The way we program our computer will determine how we function in each given moment. The thoughts (our self talk) that we input into our brain minute by minute determine how we manage our actions.
Our negative self talk as it pertains to success sounds something like this:
People think I am crazy.
I never have enough time.
I am an awful leader.
I could never maintain that level of success.
Today just isn't my day!
I don't have the skills to do this.
I am so out of my league.
I am horrible with money.
My family is suffering because of me.
I can't handle the pressure.
Imagine sitting down at your laptop or keyboard and typing anyone of those directions into your computer.
That is exactly what we do to our personal computers (our brains). No wonder things don't go right. No wonder we feel afraid to succeed. We are programming ourselves to constantly act in a way that proves we can't do it.
If your personal computer - the one that flies the plane - is programmed with the wrong information, you cannot possibly be as successful as you want to be, you can't get where you want to go! It just isn't possible.
Instead, you need to replace the negative thoughts you are imputing into your brain with positive ones. You can't just "think positively". You must change the programming by inputing new information.
I walk you through how to replace your negative self talk with positive self talk in my newest free audio training. Download it for free now!
#2 REMEMBER WHAT SUCCESS MEANS TO YOU
Having a clear definition of what success means to you is key when you are working to overcome the fear of it. Many times we are afraid of success simply because we think it is this big arbitrary thing that we will never achieve. But when we clearly define what it means to us, then we have a clear target to shoot for and feel more confident in our ability to reach that target.
Also, avoiding getting caught in the comparison trap will also help you clearly define what success means to you. When we are comparing what we have with what we perceive others have that is better than us, self doubt sets in. We feel as if no matter how hard we try we will never be as successful as her so why even bother.
#3 REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOU
Fear often has to do with us thinking this is all about us. That we simply have to be successful to find happiness. Way too much pressure comes with this type of mindset. Not too mention it is pretty impossible.
But if we keep our focus on our life's purpose, what we were created to do on this planet at this given time in history, then we remember that our only job is to live out each day as we were created to do. That we are here on this earth as a part of a grander plan. Our happiness, our joy, has nothing to do with whether or not we are successful or not. It has to do with whether or not we are living out our life's purpose.
It's about the much larger picture that you are a part of. Your job is to live out your purpose with passion and determination in your business. And to focus on how you are serving others in that realm.
#4 STAY AUTHENTIC
Staying true to who you are created to be and not getting caught up in pleasing others by being someone you aren't will allow you to see your success as something that is unique to you. Be who you are day in and day out and you will feel successful. It's when you strive to be someone you aren't you struggle with self doubt and unease.
Stand in your truth. Love who you are. And be that!
#5 LEARN AND GROW
People are always scared of what they don't know. My first six weeks of being a teacher (especially the first week) I cried almost every day. I remember being so overwhelmed because I just didn't feel equipped to be a teacher. It didn't matter that I had four years of undergraduate work under my belt. I still felt so ill equipped and thought I didn't have what it took.
I slowly began to realize that each day I grew a little more and a little more into a great teacher. I continued studying and learning new teaching strategies and put them into practice. My confidence began to grow day by day.
If you fear something, educate yourself about it. Most of the time our fear lies in the unknown. So if you fear that you don't have what it takes to be successful in an area in your business, immerse yourself in learning all you can about it and then put it into practice quickly. The more you learn, the more you practice...the more you grow.
#6 SET YOUR PRIORITIES AND BE INTENTIONAL
Part of the reason you fear success is because you feel like you won't be able to balance everything in your life. If you are a mom, you may struggle with this on a grand level. Nothing stresses a mom out more than feeling like she isn't giving her family all they need.
Success is not a destination. It’s a journey, and it’s important that we take each step feeling grounded. Spend time with your loved ones, enjoy your hobby or follow your passion, take care of your health and grow spiritually. Be intentional about keeping your priorities in check.
I am not talking about balance here. I personally don't think there is such a thing. Decide what's most important to you and be intentional about giving those things the time they deserve to nurture and grow.
No matter if you are just getting started in your business or you are completely crushing your goals, the fear of success will try to weasel it's way in every now and again. The thoughts that scream "who the heck do I think I am?!" will show up when we least expect them. Focus on these six tips to help you push the fear of success out and focus on kicking tail in your business and in life.
Make sure you check out the first two posts in this series over fear: